Then one of the men rampaged through all of the police and came over to Hansel and Gretel. “WA what do you want” Hansel said anxiously. “I want to kill you” said the man “no you will not” said Gretel. “Oh but I will…
One day Hansel and Gretel were playing tag in the woods. Soon after that Gretel was chasing Hansel and they saw 4 men circling them. So Hansel and Gretel phoned the police. When the police got there, there were bodies all over the men were kicking, punching and slapping each other.
Then one of the men rampaged through all of the police and came over to Hansel and Gretel. “WA what do you want” Hansel said anxiously. “I want to kill you” said the man “no you will not” said Gretel. “Oh but I will…
4 Comments
Mr Temple
9/3/2014 02:22:29 pm
A twist to the traditional tale - I wonder who the men were?
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Mrs Henderson
9/3/2014 03:18:17 pm
Great to see your When sentence correctly punctuated. I like how you have used rampaged too; well done!
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Olivia 6cs
16/3/2014 03:47:04 am
Adam, this is really good! Brings up the suspense. It's catching the reader so it's making me want to read more. Don't change anything.
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AuthorWe are Year 6 at Tanfield Lea Community Primary School, a primary school in County Durham who want to broaden our horizons and to show the world what we have to offer. We are using this blog to explore web design, write creatively and as a wider audience for the class' talents!
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