Some wonderful description here. I don't like the sound of the deadly pavement - hope you were all right. Try to avoid repeating words like 'box' and 'opened'. You could have substituted 'it' and a more exciting verb like 'suddenly it burst open'
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Mr Temple
7/10/2013 11:16:02 am
Well done Leah, I really enjoyed it - so much descriptive language! Superb openers too.
Remember to involve the reader by asking a question.
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We are Year 6 at Tanfield Lea Community Primary School, a primary school in County Durham who want to broaden our horizons and to show the world what we have to offer. We are using this blog to explore web design, write creatively and as a wider audience for the class' talents!
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Our topic for the Autumn term is the Normans, looking at the architecture, sources and impact of the Norman Conquest of Britain.