100wc by Aidan
6/10/2013 03:10:46 pm
An interesting story, Aidan. Well done for using more full stops. I liked the word 'smirking'!
Carol Team 100WC
8/10/2013 02:01:57 am
Hello Aiden, I like your choice of interesting vocabulary at several points in this challenge for example, 'smirking,' and 'drenched.' These really add to the atmosphere of the piece. A quick proof read would fix some of the smaller mistakes, but this is a lovely challenge..well done!
9/10/2013 12:54:40 pm
What a brilliant piece of work it was brilliant I love how you use raining heavily. Also some good words were smirked and drenched Next time if you could use some good punctuation such as ! " " ? Everything in your writing was brilliant.
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