Mr Temple
6/10/2013 03:10:46 pm
An interesting story, Aidan. Well done for using more full stops. I liked the word 'smirking'!
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Carol Team 100WC
8/10/2013 02:01:57 am
Hello Aiden, I like your choice of interesting vocabulary at several points in this challenge for example, 'smirking,' and 'drenched.' These really add to the atmosphere of the piece. A quick proof read would fix some of the smaller mistakes, but this is a lovely challenge..well done!
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Cailen(Year 6)
9/10/2013 12:54:40 pm
What a brilliant piece of work it was brilliant I love how you use raining heavily. Also some good words were smirked and drenched Next time if you could use some good punctuation such as ! " " ? Everything in your writing was brilliant.
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AuthorWe are Year 6 at Tanfield Lea Community Primary School, a primary school in County Durham who want to broaden our horizons and to show the world what we have to offer. We are using this blog to explore web design, write creatively and as a wider audience for the class' talents!
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