"Dad. Dad, wake up, its Christmas, come on!" I whispered in my Dad's ear. "Why it’s like 6 o clock in the morning!" mumbled my Dad. "Yes but its Christmas morning, and look I have my stoking right here" I exclaimed in a slightly louder voice. "OK then. COME ON, EVERYBODY UP! IT’S CHRISTMAS!" shouted my Dad. Then we all went down stairs and opened all our presents, but then our chimney started rustling and the cole started moving, then a black box hit the bottom of the chimney. “There It is.” I thought “Mam this is for you,” She opened the box and there was a lot of sawdust. “What’s this?” She asked “Dig deeper mum,“ so she did and she found a gold glittering dimand ring!
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Well done Ben,
Mr Temple
6/12/2012 01:18:14 pm
What an interesting post. I wonder why it was only sawdust; what did mean?
Niall
7/12/2012 12:15:32 pm
I like the bit about the sawdust and your mum had to dig deeper for the ring
Ethan H
9/12/2012 09:33:37 am
Hi Ben,
Olivia
11/12/2012 09:28:39 am
well done but a bit spelling mistakes
Fiona Redwood
16/12/2012 02:21:57 am
You've captured what it must be like for lots of children and their parents on Christmas morning, Ben. You used good imagination about the box falling down the chimney whilst everyone was opening their presents - luckily the fire wasn't lit! Apart from checking punctuation, next time try to use more variety in your time connectives so that, for example, you don't repeat 'then'. Keep up your good efforts with the 100WC.
Fiona Redwood
16/12/2012 02:29:46 am
Please could you pass a message to Daniel B that I couldn't open his 100WC about the box, therefore I couldn't post a comment. Thank you! Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
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AuthorWe are Year 6 at Tanfield Lea Community Primary School, a primary school in County Durham who want to broaden our horizons and to show the world what we have to offer. We are using this blog to explore web design, write creatively and as a wider audience for the class' talents! 
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