100 word challenge - World War II - 6T @ Tanfield Lea Community Primary School

100 word challenge - World War II

2/10/2012

This week's 100 word challenge is to write using the following prompt:

..... as the bombs dropped.....

You have 100 words plus the 4 in the prompt. Really think hard about the words you use and don’t forget to make your pieces as exciting and creative as possible.

Remember this is a good opportunity to practise the following:

Openers with commas
Connectives (because, thus, consequently, however, which/who)
A range of punctuation ( ) “ ”
Including questions
Proofreading when you are finished for capitals and punctuation (Remember 2 lines needs a full stop, and don't write i when you mean I!)

The world is watching. We now have viewers from 28 different countries and they want to see YOUR writing!

Note: Please also leave comments on 2 of your friends’ work online, so we all get feedback.

36 Comments

Mr Temple

2/10/2012 02:03:04 pm

Sauntering slowly down the road with blackberry-stained lips, Zach and I were enjoying an autumnal walk back home. Besides the sound of insects, a drone similar to a wasp was gradually growing in volume. "I say, that's a large bird....", my knowledgeable friend exclaimed. Exchanging a look, we realised what we faced, and ran. We ran until the muscles in our legs twitched, we ran until our lungs were screaming with the cold air and rivalling the ever nearer thunder above us, we ran until we collapsed at the rusty gate of the church. I barely had time to think, "Why would anyone bomb Weirwold?" as the earth shook with the vibrations of metal pounding earth, explosive meeting the soft earth of the fields. Remembering ourselves, we scrambled into the Anderson shelter, only to find Tom sipping a cup of tea with Sammy cowering beneath his legs. "Where you two been then?" he muttered as the bombs dropped nearby.

Olivia

3/10/2012 11:20:15 am

very good mr temple like it

Justin

4/10/2012 06:26:48 am

That is very good.

Mr Temple

4/10/2012 01:58:12 pm

Thank you both, Olivia and Justin.

ebony

3/10/2012 09:19:15 am

When Willie was out walking Sammy to was walking behind them. As the bombs dropping tom told Willie to come in side a take Sammy in to.Then Tom asked "What are you doing there?" Willie replied"Em nothin why?"then Tom replied"i just thought that me and you cold do some painting"Willie whisped "i can't paint "Tom said "what do you mean that you can't paint every one can paint" then Willie said " But i can't and i can't read are write or read".Tom got a book and started to read and Willie sat down on the sofa and went a sleep becase he was tired.Despit the fact Willie was a sleep Tom made dinner and whisped "Wake up i have made your dinner".Willie woke up and spelt his dinner and eat it all.

Mr Temple

4/10/2012 01:57:46 pm

You have captured what Willie and Tom are like. I really liked the Despite the fact ..... sentence and some of your speech.

It would be even better if you used I instead of i.

millie

3/10/2012 10:46:02 am

12th March 1939
I have just read on the radio that World War 2 has started. Haven’t these people had enough of bombing and shooting? Anyway I am NOT going back to my evacuee parents; I’ve got several bruises of them. Yesterday I went out to get some food for my mum when a huge spit fire flew past. I predicted that another war was going to start and I was right. Today I’ve got to go and get some fire wood for the bomb shelters. I’m dreading going out there, God knows what will happen. My dad’s going to go back to fight in the war. All morning I was begging him not too, but he couldn’t he had to go. At this very moment I’m getting ready to go and get the fire wood. What happens if the Germans attack while I’m getting it? I’m scared diary. Why or why did Britain have to declare war? Well I’ve just set of for the wood and already I’m terrified. I heard a spit fire fly past. It scared the living daylights out of me. I just got the last piece that I could hold when. Over, in the middle of the woods, a huge vibrating bang came. I jumped and dropped all the wood. With no hesitation I sprinted over to see what was there. Unexpectedly a bomb lay on its front ready to explode. I didn’t stop to think, I ran until I got back to the wood, another vibrating bang came from nearby. I grabbed the wood and ran home. I got home and my mum, 2 brothers and my sister were terrified. The look on their face gave everything away. You could see a sign of relief when they saw me running as fast I could. Just before the next bomb could drop I got into the shelter.
I looked out the windows as the bombs dropped. I gave a sigh of disappointment. Millions of emotions ran through my head. I felt sad because dad was leaving, I felt relieved that mum told me we didn’t have to go to our evacuees, I felt excited because the war was exciting, I felt disappointed that we had to stay in the bomb shelter.
13th March 1939
I woke up thinking it was a normal day when I heard another bomb drop. My face slowly dropped as I knew it wasn’t a normal day. Then I realised the date. Three days til my birthday. I started jumping around. I was going to be eighteen. The worst thing about being in the family is now I’m the oldest boy in the family (at least til dad returns home, ALIVE). My youngest brother is 5 in April my oldest brother is ten in December and my sister was born two years after me and she’s 16 in… umm… tomorrow.
I’m not going to tell you about yesterday and the day before because you might start to get bored
16th March 1939
MY BIRTHDAY, MY BIRTHDAY. I jumped up this morning with exited. Then I remembered that mum never bothered about my birthday the past couples of years. I ran to get my breakfast and without warning I spotted several presents on the table. I opened them and the biggest one was the best. It was a dart bored with Adolf Hitler (best known as the worst and most horrible man in the universe).
The second best present was yo yo I always wanted one.
As the day slowly came to an end I ran up to my room and jumped into my bed. I whispered to myself ‘best birthday ever!’ as I slowly drifted of to sleep

sorry about to many words

Mrs Henderson

3/10/2012 12:08:21 pm

Well done Millie. You have written alot but it's great. You have used some great openers and well done for using adverbs to start sentences. Also, you have used some nice vocabulary to describe your feelings. Don't forget to comment on another blog!!

Bethany W

4/10/2012 09:36:27 am

wow Millie your story is amazing it is so cool how you put Willies birthday in. It's a great story Millie fantastic writing.

Mr Temple

4/10/2012 02:01:07 pm

What a lovely supportive comment, Bethany.

Mr Temple

4/10/2012 02:00:43 pm

No need to apologise when you have clearly put so much into it!

I like your mixed emotions about your dad, the war and not liking your evacuee parents; you have flipped the Goodnight Mister Tom story round.

Can you think of another way to spell bored? (dart .....)

Olivia

6/10/2012 02:21:11 am

BRILLIANT Millie not much at all it says 100 words or more.

Jodie

7/10/2012 10:37:57 am

Millie all of your writing always seems interesting to me! I hope you will write on the blog next week aswell as I love your writing!

Olivia

3/10/2012 11:19:49 am

As the bombs dropped we sat in our anderson shelter i was really worried,sammy was shaking and was curled up in between my legs. I looked out side of the rusty window it was dark all i could hear was the bombs falling on the ground. It was draftey in the shelter i was chilly meanwhile i started to get hungry luckley tom brought a sandwich. It eventulelly it came to bed time we had a blanket and the floor to lie on i was hoping that the bombs soon In the morning i realised i was in the shealther and tom had dissapeared i wondered where he had gone i was really worried because there was these weird looking men with gas masks on opeing all the shelters what am i going to do...

Millie Hindson (UK)

4/10/2012 12:18:22 am

good olivia like i coppied it and pasted it on to word and did a spell check loads of words were spelt wrong, but on the other hand still really good :)

ebony

4/10/2012 12:38:53 am

hi olivia i really like yours.What are you going to do?don't leave me waiting.

Mr Temple

4/10/2012 02:02:06 pm

A terrific comment, Ebony. You are keen to know how the story continues.

olivia

6/10/2012 02:23:49 am

Bethany W

4/10/2012 09:39:53 am

Olivia I think your story is great and fantastic.It was great how you put it was draftey in the shelter only one thing you forgot to caps lock your i's.Please comment on my work to!

Mr Temple

4/10/2012 02:04:08 pm

Wow, a scary ending! I wonder where Tom is (I hope he is safe). Well done for thinking what it would be like in an Anderson shelter overnight.

Your full stops are improving well, just make sure you hit the SHIFT key more often for capitals.

Martine

16/10/2012 05:15:48 am

As the bombs dropped I silently hid behind a half demolished builing. All of a sudden BOOM something had landed near the house. I ran like the wind and caught up with a car and someone was inside it. She was hiding I opened the dorr and got inside. I thought it would be a lady but it was a young girl. "AAAGGGHHH! get out my mums car." I managed to calm her down and I said " why are you in here? Where are your parents?" The girl didn't answer.

Mrs Ovington

4/10/2012 07:52:46 am

Olivia, I really like your story, I felt like I was there in the shelter with you. Remember you are the capital letter monster - don't forget to use them!

Olivia

6/10/2012 02:24:03 am

Thanks mrs ovington cant i be the capital letter Alien

Mrs Ovington

6/10/2012 04:44:33 am

Yes you can Olivia but only if you use them correctly!

Mr Temple

8/10/2012 01:42:06 pm

Hey alien, can you find 4 capital letters that need changing in this sentence? : Thanks mrs ovington cant i be the capital letter Alien

Bethany W

4/10/2012 09:26:19 am

As the bombs dropped me,Sammy and Tom ran to the Anderson shelter in Tom's hands was the box of colourful paints which were his wifes.We all got into the Anderson shelter as fast as we all could I was thinking in my head (please don't let a German bomber see us now or we'll die for sure)But then as I started to climb into the protection shelter I heard a gigantic BOOM I was so scared as I suddenly started to cry Tom grabbed my arm and sat me down in the shelter and explained "You'll be allright this has happened before you will be safe with me and Sammy so don't be frightened boy"As I said it faintly to tom he said "speak up boy"So when I did start to talk this is what I mumbled to Tom "I'm allright it's just I really miss m'my Mummy.""It's allright Willie I tell you what why don't I buy another post card tommorow and you can send her another one and tell her how much you love her and are missing her." Suggested Tom."Would you really Mister that would be so kind and thankyou but what if she has been bombed by a German bomber?"I said anxiously.Then Tom explained" You're Mum probably hasn't and while i'm at it do you want a bacon sandwhich and some delicous pudding after it's chocolate fudge cake but if you don't like that then there is some sticky toffee pudding uswell?"Questioned Tom.I said yes as my tummy was rumbling so loud and I couldn't resist the smell of the crispy jucy bacon and the lovley smell of chocolateand also the delicous fudge."I suppose Sammy want's feeding to Willie would you like to put some dog biscuits into the little dog bowl over in the right hand corner?"Explained Tom inthusiasticly like Willie wanted to do it.In the end Willie quiet enjoyed pouring some strainge,pungent smelly dog biscuits into the tin bowl.Finally after a while of cooking the bacon sandwhichs it was time to sit round the brown,old,wooden table and eat our scrumptious tea.Then a few minutes later despite not finishing his bacon sandwhich he still wanted a bit of cake I wonder which one he will choose.

Well you tell me which cake do you think that Willie would rather eat and why? It would be the Chocolate fudge cake or the sticky toffee pudding cake?

Mr Temple

4/10/2012 02:07:52 pm

It is interesting how you have told the story from Willie's perspective (this is called the first person). You have shown the hunger of Willie and used some descriptive language about the smell and taste. Pungent is a terrific word!

It would be even better if you checked through at the end for punctuation and to make sure it still says I instead of Willie, because you slipped into the third person.

Terrific effort, well done!

Ben

5/10/2012 03:28:24 pm

"Come on Sammy, lets go for a run in the meadows!" shouted Willie in great enthusiasm, "Woof!" replied Sammy while wagging his tail with happiness and excitement. "I take that as a yes," said Willie as a great smile spread across his face. "By mister Tom,” shouted Willie, "By Willie, have a good time and don't be to long I'll 'ave tea ready by four!" exclaimed Tom as Willie ran out the door with Sammy. They ran past the thatch cottages until they came across Zacks house. They stopped for a moment and sore Zack sitting on a wooden chair outside his house, strangely he was silent. Willie went over to see Zack, "Hi Za..." He was interrupted by a Sh coming from Zack who was holding the wireless on his lap. "Its a broadcast from the RAF. Listen," whispered Zack. "As the bombs dropped, we flew our planes to stop further deaths. Thousands have been killed!" said the radio as the transmission ended.

(Reposted from another area by Mr Temple)

Mrs ovington

6/10/2012 04:48:33 am

I can see a pattern forming in your '100 word challenges' Ben - you like writing about dogs! A good use of speech in this one, well done.

Kieran D

7/10/2012 03:01:24 am

I was with my mother we were so scared we thought we were going to die. We kept looking for the evacuation booth but no matter how hard we tried we couldn't find it. BOOM BOOM BOOM!!!!!!! three bombs went off behind us about 3 miles away. We almost fainted we got a horrendous shock. We had the best gas masks available but the gases/fumes were to powerful for our masks to hold. My mother almost fainted from the gases/fumes. There was a slightly quiet voice behind us but it was loud enough to hear "You looking for the evacuation booths" the mystery person said.
"Oh yes could you help us" we replied
"Sure its about two miles ahead" The mystery man said in a kind voice. We got to the evacuation booths about ten minutes later.I went to visit the person who was taking me his name was Jake he was a daring man. BOOM!!!!!! a bomb went off behind me it just reached my mother she died i was screaming and crying with an extreme amount of grief. I got onto the train and rode away from London as the bombs dropped nearby.

Mr Temple

8/10/2012 01:44:46 pm

What a scary tale! I like how you introduced the mystery man with a kind voice and let the reader who it was. Only then did you reveal his name: Jake!

Well done. Also, you have taken terrific care with your punctuation, which shows how carefully you did this.

Hollie F

7/10/2012 09:11:07 am

September 3rd 1939 as Britain stands on the edge of World War 2. Many young children from cities are sent into the countryside to escape the Germans bombs.
William, ‘Willie’ Beech, a boy from London who was abused by his mother and 8 years old, left the City as the bombs dropped. He arrived at his new home called Little Weriwold, there was an old man waiting, with a grumpy face and he just walked off. Willie followed him and they reached Toms house. Willie waited outside until he was invited in. Tom let him in and said “shut the door,” he went and closed the door. He slowly walked in the room not talking or lifting a lip.
Time past and suddenly it became diner time. Tom said “if you have had enough put it to one side.” “Where did you come from?” asked Tom. “London sir” Willie finally spoke.

Mrs Ovington

8/10/2012 01:04:40 pm

What a great opener Hollie and I also like how you have left people wondering how the story unfolds.

Jodie

7/10/2012 10:30:45 am

I'm so glad we built our anderson shelter! There were bombs dropping all over the countryside when the Germans heard that we'd been evacuating children there! The bombs stopped here yesterday but they still haven't stopped in London! I now know how my Mum feels and my Dad is at war now which must be much, much harder for him! As the bombs dropped, me, Tom, Sammy, Zach and the rest of the village sat in the anderson shelter. Sammy curled up by my legs, Tom held me tight and Zack didn't say a word! I think Zach was so scared that he couldn't speak (that was the only good thing that happened).
Before the bombs started dropping, me and Zach were playing a game of catch while Tom and Sammy sat in the garden and watched us. When the bombs started to drop we knew the call, run to the anderson shelter!
Were safe now but when the bombs started to drop it was the most terriffing situation I'd ever been in!
Tom is going to teach me how to sow tonight, I cant wait!

Mr Temple

8/10/2012 01:47:33 pm

It must have been scary if Zach had nothing to say! I'm really impressed with your commas used in sentences beginning with Before, When etc.

Although your writing is full of suspense and fear, be careful about overusing ! It's like a battery: 'the more you use it, the less power it has'.

Fantastic post, well done!

kieran d

17/12/2012 12:09:32 pm

As the bombs dropped I got scared, so scared that i wet my pants my father said that it was ok to wet my pants but i didnt. My father dropped to the ground with a BANG! i didnt know what happened i was panicing so much i didnt know what happened then in the corner of my eye, i seen a nazi laughing with glee so i suspected that he was the murderer. Millie (my best friend) came over and was crying she was mumbleing something about her dad Alan in war. She got shot so i desided that i had no-one in life so i had to go to war. Since you know i am writeing this so i survived the war.

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Year 6's view on the World