Lucy's 100 word challenge

4/10/2013

Mr G (Team 100WC)

5/10/2013 12:47:14 am

Oh dear Lucy! Off school and bored? What a shame. Still at least you had something to look forward to. I like the way you closed your 100WC by asking a question of your readers - it helps stretch their imaginations.
Well done on including all the words.

Caitlin

5/10/2013 12:44:27 pm

Really good.
I think you should have used more openers to make your story existing.
I like you how you have ended with a question.
I think your story will be better if you have. I decided to go to the shops and buy some food for my sleep over. As I walked on the pavement I spotted a pet shop so I went to had a look in the window. You should of have. I decided to go to the shops and buy some food for my sleep over, as I walked on the pavement I spotted a pet shop so I went up and I had a look.
Ok. Keep up the good work 👩

Mr Temple

7/10/2013 03:14:20 pm

A funny little story, which is well punctuated. I liked your use of questions and the use of some openers.

Where could a comma go in your when sentence?

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Year 6's view on the World