Oh dear Lucy! Off school and bored? What a shame. Still at least you had something to look forward to. I like the way you closed your 100WC by asking a question of your readers - it helps stretch their imaginations.
Well done on including all the words.
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Caitlin
5/10/2013 12:44:27 pm
Really good.
I think you should have used more openers to make your story existing.
I like you how you have ended with a question.
I think your story will be better if you have. I decided to go to the shops and buy some food for my sleep over. As I walked on the pavement I spotted a pet shop so I went to had a look in the window. You should of have. I decided to go to the shops and buy some food for my sleep over, as I walked on the pavement I spotted a pet shop so I went up and I had a look.
Ok. Keep up the good work 👩
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Mr Temple
7/10/2013 03:14:20 pm
A funny little story, which is well punctuated. I liked your use of questions and the use of some openers.
Where could a comma go in your when sentence?
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We are Year 6 at Tanfield Lea Community Primary School, a primary school in County Durham who want to broaden our horizons and to show the world what we have to offer. We are using this blog to explore web design, write creatively and as a wider audience for the class' talents!
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Our topic for the Autumn term is the Normans, looking at the architecture, sources and impact of the Norman Conquest of Britain.