I read you work and I thought it was really good however, you you used capital letters in the middle of sentences, when you should have used lower case. You also could of used commas and a question.
Please comment on my work.
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Mr Temple
6/10/2013 03:02:41 pm
You have concentrated really hard on this, Jodie.
I really liked the introduction - a short sentence followed by a great explanation. Terrific editing in the first few lines.
Towards the end, you could edit more carefully: in the last 2 lines, you could have another 3 full stops. Can you see where?
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Kristen
16/10/2013 04:21:17 am
I loved your story Jodie. You really did try your best. The part at the beginning ' it was bright orange' keep up the good work
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We are Year 6 at Tanfield Lea Community Primary School, a primary school in County Durham who want to broaden our horizons and to show the world what we have to offer. We are using this blog to explore web design, write creatively and as a wider audience for the class' talents!
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