As I was walking towards the grave, I read the curly name : Florence Gills. My face dropped with shock. I looked at the writing underneath my name it read : your next. I ran back home screaming, I was terrified, truly terrified. I looked left then right but I couldn't see the gate leading back into my street. Slowly, the sky got darker. A ghost approached me with a frightening smile. "Why hello!" He whispered stroking my cheek. "I'm not afraid" I said even though I was. A tear rolled down my cheek. I was crying. Crying blood. Was I really...dead? To this day, I'm still standing there, crying blood.
This is a very imaginative piece of writing Leah, a great response to the prompt. There was a lot of suspense and you created an atmosphere of terror, but I liked the way your main character tried to pretend that she was not scared. I was impressed by the ending sentence, it made me feel very scared for Florence.
Keep up this fantastic writing Leah, I look forward to reading more from you.
Nicola Richardson
100wc team
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Ali
23/10/2013 07:59:20 am
I really enjoyed your work because you used fantastic vocabulary.
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Mr Temple
24/10/2013 05:26:36 am
Well done Leah! The whole class are so proud of you. As I said on the blog, I love the mixture of short staccato sentences, repetition and questions which engage the reader and it rightly has its place on the Showcase alongside entries from Canada, Australia, America as well as around Britain.
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Logan(yr6)
24/10/2013 06:39:30 am
Well done leah a wonderfull 100 word challange.
I loved your use of colons and your question.
You could use a viriaty of differant openers like ed openers ly openers and ing
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We are Year 6 at Tanfield Lea Community Primary School, a primary school in County Durham who want to broaden our horizons and to show the world what we have to offer. We are using this blog to explore web design, write creatively and as a wider audience for the class' talents!
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Our topic for the Autumn term is the Normans, looking at the architecture, sources and impact of the Norman Conquest of Britain.