Caitlin's Extra 100WC: Head and Legs

26/9/2013

I am called Jessica and today I was going the the summer fair. The summer fair is lots of stands selling things but my mam told me that yesterday and today that there was a carnival on and she said it was for 7 or above (I am 8 so that's alright) the summer fair was at South Shields. So we got packed and we got into the car and we got there at the end. I saw this statue and I said to my mam can we go over to it so we did and we got to the head with legs coming out from his head and then he started talking I jumped back frightened and I stared to cry so my mam had to find my dad and my dad took me home to my grans and my dad went back to South Shields. I had to sleep at my grans because my mam and
Dad didn't come home until after 10.00pm so I was at my gran and grand ads and my mam and dad were at home asleep.

6 Comments

Mr Temple

26/9/2013 01:04:53 pm

Well done Caitlin for doing some extra! Your full stops are very accurate and you have added ( )

Remember you only need 100 words - could you have ended it at 'I started to cry!'?

Great work again; don't forget to head over to 100WC and leave comments, but don't forget to tell others where they can find your work too!

Mr Patterson!

26/9/2013 01:50:31 pm

Excellent work Caitlin. It's great to see that you are so active on the blogs and keen to improve your writing skills through completing extra challenges.
Keep up the hard work!

Kristen

27/9/2013 08:05:24 am

Well done Caitlin you really focused. I read all of it and I found that you like writing stories! You could change the openers maybe but except from that! Well done :)

Mr Temple

27/9/2013 02:22:56 pm

Thanks for supporting Caitlin, Kristen. Which openers would you use and where?

Caitlin (year6)

16/10/2013 04:22:57 am

Despite, going to the summer fair I was still tired. My mam told me that there was lots of stands selling things but my mam told me that, the other day there was a sale.

Anna (Team 100WC) link

29/9/2013 12:56:58 pm

I'd love to know what the pot said to you! If you'd had a bit less about the fair and how you got there, you'd have had room for more detail about this scary thing you saw and how you felt about it. Careful next time, though, because you used almost double the number of words allowed.

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