I remember the old GREEN summer days, it’s nothing like that now - it’s like a white veil which hangs over the lush grass. Children RUNNING yet it is so HEAVY on their feet. I see people in a small crowded people pulling a small damaged CARAVAN in the snow. As I walk to school I see bricks of FROST all over the window pane. After school I decided to build a snowman in the garden and throw snowballs for my dog to catch in his mouth! I don’t stay out for long before freezing! So I come into warmth.
Lovely piece of writing. Your imagery is made powerful through effective use of adjectives. I particularly like the metaphor 'bricks of frost' and similie 'like a white veil'. Next time could you write a peice as effective in second or third person?
Keep up the good work!
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We are Year 6 at Tanfield Lea Community Primary School, a primary school in County Durham who want to broaden our horizons and to show the world what we have to offer. We are using this blog to explore web design, write creatively and as a wider audience for the class' talents!
We are very keen for links with other schools, both in the UK and internationally. Please contact us via the comments boxes!
Our topic for the Autumn term is the Normans, looking at the architecture, sources and impact of the Norman Conquest of Britain.