On a murderous fearful cold windy winters night I felt a chill sprint up my boney back I shivered in the darkness.Suddenly, a creepy sound stalked and swirled around my ears making me dizzy. Fearfully I heard a spiriting whirling sound sinking into my ear drum. My heart was about to experience a strange sensitive feeling. The sound was gradually getting louder and louder.Anxiously, I counted to three this usually makes me calm down. Sweating, I swung the covers of my quilt off me and took a sneaky snooping look out side. Slowly, the sky got darker.
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Mrs D team 100
20/10/2013 03:04:12 am
You have used some great adverbs to create a highly descriptive entry. Some of the adverbs are unusual choices though such as the sound which 'stalked and swirled'. I understand how a sound can swirl but I am not sure about how a sound can stalk. I am intrigued as to what must be making the creepy noise, well done creating intrigue. 20/10/2013 12:25:24 pm
Goodness me, Rose - what fabulous language you have used in your 100wc! You have used such a variety and this really makes your writing spring to life. A way to improve even further is to really get on top of your punctuation - can you spot any that is missing?
Rose
23/11/2013 01:30:04 pm
Yes thank you for your tips I will look through it and replace the mistakes or missing punctuation. Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
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AuthorWe are Year 6 at Tanfield Lea Community Primary School, a primary school in County Durham who want to broaden our horizons and to show the world what we have to offer. We are using this blog to explore web design, write creatively and as a wider audience for the class' talents! 
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