100wc twirling disasters Rose
On a murderous fearful cold windy winters night I felt a chill sprint up my boney back I shivered in the darkness.Suddenly, a creepy sound stalked and swirled around my ears making me dizzy. Fearfully I heard a spiriting whirling sound sinking into my ear drum. My heart was about to experience a strange sensitive feeling. The sound was gradually getting louder and louder.Anxiously, I counted to three this usually makes me calm down. Sweating, I swung the covers of my quilt off me and took a sneaky snooping look out side. Slowly, the sky got darker.
Mrs D team 100
20/10/2013 03:04:12 am
You have used some great adverbs to create a highly descriptive entry. Some of the adverbs are unusual choices though such as the sound which 'stalked and swirled'. I understand how a sound can swirl but I am not sure about how a sound can stalk. I am intrigued as to what must be making the creepy noise, well done creating intrigue.
20/10/2013 12:25:24 pm
Goodness me, Rose - what fabulous language you have used in your 100wc! You have used such a variety and this really makes your writing spring to life. A way to improve even further is to really get on top of your punctuation - can you spot any that is missing?
23/11/2013 01:30:04 pm
Yes thank you for your tips I will look through it and replace the mistakes or missing punctuation.
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