One stormy evening I was sitting inside watching a movie about air balloons. As it was getting later and later I ran upstairs still thinking about the air balloons. I quickly put my pyjamas on and got to bed. In my dreams I had a weird dream. It was about the air balloons. The next morning I woke and looking down I was surprised to see I was sitting on a air balloon. I told my mum but I couldn't walk on it. She wasn't there. Oh no what will I do?
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Mrs Maclean Team 100WC
12/10/2013 02:42:42 pm
Well done with this week's prompt, Kristen.I like that you have opened your sentences in different ways as this helps the story to flow. My only suggestion might be to sometimes use a pronoun to replace the noun, in this case 'air balloons.' This helps to make a story less repetitive. Keep up the good work.
Mr Temple
13/10/2013 03:10:11 pm
A good challenge, Kristen. I agree with what Mrs Maclean has written too! As well as using 'it' instead of hot air balloons you could also use other words like: the enormous gas-filled blobs in the sky. Can you think of any others?
Kristen
15/10/2013 02:05:49 pm
Yes I though of the ginormous airbaloon drifted in the hair like smoke from a old chimney
Kristen
16/10/2013 04:13:49 am
The next morning I was surprised to see I was sitting on a ginormous air balloon drifting in the air like smoke from an old chimney.
Matthew
16/10/2013 04:21:36 am
Really good story but change air ballon to a more exiting word Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
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AuthorWe are Year 6 at Tanfield Lea Community Primary School, a primary school in County Durham who want to broaden our horizons and to show the world what we have to offer. We are using this blog to explore web design, write creatively and as a wider audience for the class' talents! 
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